


Withering Flowers

by rujakcuka



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Angst, Future Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2020-07-25 14:40:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20027476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rujakcuka/pseuds/rujakcuka
Summary: They are adults, not some high school students with raging hormones. Responsibilities are more important than what their hearts want.





	Withering Flowers

**Author's Note:**

  * For [whimsicalglow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/whimsicalglow/gifts).

> bel, this is for you _but i’m sorry this is so messed up,,,_

Sacrificing is inevitable in life.

It makes one’s heart aches and blooms at the same time. Aching occurs for everything is oftentimes cruel. The characteristic is one’s left eye shedding tears. Blooming happens for everything leads to something better. The symptom is one’s right eye shedding tears.

Both—heart aching or blooming—can make oneself to be something. Good (wiser, braver, stronger, accepting, all the peaceful things) or bad (nobody wants to name it), it’s their choice.

Tetsuya acknowledges that, as he’s growing up between adolescence and adulthood, everything is inevitable. It is absolute. A thing can be a gift, another can be a mockery. When he learns more, a thing or a hundred, he puts sacrificing as a mockery to one’s poor soul because it aches. Nobody prepares to give something even if it’s willingly done. Even if it makes you a better person.

But when he falls in love with Seijuurou and some sacrifices are made, his heart blooms instead.

It makes him wiser and braver and stronger and more accepting, even inside the court. Sweat, tears, disappointment, determination, even blood—he treats them as sacrifices, yet embraces them wholeheartedly. The ache is there too, but he’s kind and naive and forgiving. His only part that hurts, like fire burns it continuously, is his left eye; it hurts from creating waterfalls too often, both inside and outside his body. The misery on his left eye is the only organ that he has accepted its pain. Others are not.

That one time when he knows Seijuurou’s heart blooms for him too, Tetsuya feels his heart blooms so much it’s ready to explode, to fall its petals in excitement and concession. He sees life better than before. He sees that all his sacrifices are worth it. Someone in the back of his mind tells him: he’s afraid his heart becomes unable to endure so much ecstasy. Another voice reassures him that it’s fine and he should focus on the joyous moments in his life instead. His right eye cries so much and he doesn’t mind at all.

As time passes through, Tetsuya almost forgets that inevitable things exist. The compulsion to sacrifice something comes one after another occasion—and this temporary, tranquil juncture with his lover nearly buries this fact. It wants the fact to be forgotten.

Yet reality slaps him by telling that sacrificing in life is inevitable and the thing that should be sacrificed can be anything.

When they consume each other for the last time, Tetsuya cannot help himself. He cannot hold it. The tears on his left eye cannot stop flowing as nails and teeth are digging into his skin, leaving red and purple petals here and there. By the petals, he wants to think his heart is blooming, for this is the sacrifice he’s willingly going to do.

Instead of blooming, he feels his heart aches much more than his left eye.

His lover is silent. It isn’t because he wants to ignore what Tetsuya feels; the reason is that he knows how it feels—he feels it too. The feeling suffocates them so much they become afraid to speak. Between their bare skins, there is a gap that Tetsuya cannot fill even for a second. They are connected, yet he feels his lover is getting away.

A pair of scarlet eyes, not shedding tears yet full of pain, widen as they see Tetsuya’s tears begin mixing with blood. The pain on his left eye is followed by an itch usually found on an infected wound. “Tetsuya, are you okay?” Seijuurou voices his concern, quiet and broken.

Tetsuya doesn’t know which part of him that Seijuurou refers to as something okay, his left eye or his heart. The agony is going to hurt him more as they are going to separate after done filling themselves with pleasure—not the big hole on each other’s heart. Doing sacrifices for years still cannot make it.

His lover is going to have a superficial love and a peripheral family with someone else. His conflicted brain tells him he’s content with himself not included in it; his unfulfilled heart doesn’t. They are adults, not some high school students with raging hormones. Responsibilities are more important than what their hearts want.

So Tetsuya tells Seijuurou to keep going and take their last time slowly and, “I’m okay.”


End file.
